Think About It

Some bank names are obscure, like Wachovia.

Or lifeless, like Bank of America.

But the worst bank name out there today is Fifth Third Bank.

It’s obscure.

It’s lifeless.

And darn it, it’s just so hard to say.

The corporate leaders at Fifth Third Bank took “fifth,” one of the most difficult words to pronounce in the English language, and then made it even tougher by following it immediately with another “th” word.

Fifth Third Bank. Try to say it clearly five times fast. (Go ahead. We’ll wait.) Did you pull a tongue muscle? Even the voice in our head gets tripped up when we read “Fifth Third” silently.

Granted, most people don’t enunciate so clearly as to end up with a tongue injury. Most people probably use the lazy man’s version, “Fif-third Bank.” That’s an improvement for the person speaking, but not so good for the bank, since word-of-mouth marketing only works with intelligible speech.

Beyond the elocution challenges of the name Fifth Third Bank is the nagging question, “What does it mean?” The bank’s logo, which looks roughly like the fraction 5/3, makes us ask, if three thirds is 100 percent, and four thirds is more than 100 percent, is the name “Fifth Third Bank” intended to make us think this bank goes the extra, extra mile? Could that be the logic behind this awkward name?

No, it isn’t. According to the company Web site, the name “Fifth Third” is derived from the names of the two banks that merged to create it: Fifth National Bank and – you guessed it – Third National Bank.

And that’s what makes this name truly sad. Fifth Third Bank has no deeper meaning, no marketing value. It’s simply a sad testament to what happens when two parties agree to merge their businesses but won’t let go of their independent corporate names.

Fifth Third Bank has the worst name because it fell victim to the worst naming strategy. Instead of using basic marketing principles to choose a name that would add value to its brand, it gave in to marketing’s worst enemy: corporate politics.